I'm sorry--finally an update!

I think I owe everyone who reads this an apology for my lack of posts. I know that I'm OK, but I forget that all of you don't necessarily know where I am or how I'm doing. Therefore, I'm sorry for not posting in quite a long time.

I am now safely back in Washington and am adjusting to life back in the States. I've been so busy since I left Africa (traveling to Spain, London, and now home) that I really haven't had too much time to just reflect on my experience...until tonight. My flatmate, Erin, and I sat down to discuss my trip a bit. The conversation turned to discussing missionary work, why we do it, locations, needs, personal growth, faith, etc...haha we got onto numerous topics. I have so much swirling around (or as Anthony would say--"marinating") in my head right now that I can't even figure out what to write...I guess what it boils down to is I have a hard time rationalizing raising thousands of dollars to take a group of teens (or adults!) on a short-term mission to Africa when just donating that money to a trusted non-profit would go so far...but on the other hand, it is so hard to really impact people and help them have life-changing experiences without them experiencing them firsthand. Hmmmm....

Honestly, at times I just wanted to cry tonight as Erin and I talked and watched some of the videos I took of kids singing, dancing, and praying in Uganda and Kenya. The people who live and work at Loving One by One's orphanage feel like my family. I look at each of their faces and I can hear their voices, I know their personalities, and some of their stories. A big part of me feels like I've abandoned them; although, I'm comforted by my belief that God will never abandon them and deep in their hearts they know that He is all they truly need. Why isn't that good enough for me? Oh my gosh, I get it! A light bulb just went off...that's just it...they don't "need" me...I'm fun to have around and I teach them and play with them and pray and dance and love them but they don't NEED me...they get that. They know God is all they need...I'm just the cherry on top! (and I say "I" for ease of communicating my thoughts but "I" could be replaced with any person in their lives). As I look around my room at all my belongings, it kind of makes me want to throw up. BUT not sick enough to get rid of it all. WHY? Why do I still have a desire and an attachment to "stuff"???

A few more thoughts and then I have to go to bed...one of the unexpected outcomes of my trip has been all the awesome conversations I've had with people regarding mission work, poverty, hunger, family issues, faith, and the list goes on...and I'm not talking about flippant conversations...I've had several extensive conversations surrounding these issues. God has opened so many doors and I have a feeling that many more will be opened in the next few months. These issues can be so overwhelming, and I've definitely determined that they are some pretty complex issues that no amount of foreign aid will "fix"... BUT a man I met waiting in line at Gatwick airport in London had one idea for breaking down stereotypes and unifying the human race (among other issues as well) and that is to travel! Seems simple doesn't it? He made the point that if more people traveled, we would have more of a grasp of other cultures and an awareness of issues in other parts of the world. Once someone has traveled to a new place, they will more than likely have some kind of attachment to it and then be willing to defend it...ok, I know I'm not communicating very well what I'm meaning so feel free to converse with me about it! To summarize, it's like the ripple effect...person travels to a country...that alone will boost the country's economy which in turn could provide more jobs which would mean more money which could lead to more food on the table and with a full belly it has been proven that kids do better in school which can lead to them having more opportunities in higher education, better jobs...and the effect goes on and on. And to think all of that could happen solely based on people traveling to "third world" or "developing" countries...

OK I'm exhausted...

Many people have been wondering about pictures. I plan on posting more thoughts/reflections/stories from my travels this summer and adding pictures!!! So keep checking back. Some pictures should be up within a week.

Re-reading my post I just realized how big of a hypocrite I sound like...I start by saying I have issues with all the money spent to travel to a place like Uganda for a short term mission trip (don't get me wrong- I was grateful to get to go to Uganda and serve God this summer and I still believe that's where He wanted me and would love to go back but I don't necessarily think it's cost effective for someone to go just for a week or something along those lines), and then I end with insisting that people travel more. I didn't mean to contradict myself...more of what I'm really trying to say is that in some cases I think it's more critical to donate directly to a cause but as a long-term "solution" I suggest that everyone in the world travels more...Hope that makes more sense!